A Wing and A Prayer
by Dementors hate chocolate
Summary: Castiel has a secret, and because he didn't share it with the Winchesters, it harbors dangerous consequences. Rated M for Rape, some swearing, possible MPREG, slash. Rapevictim!Dean
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Don't own Supernatural.**

**So...I really intended for this to be a oneshot, but of course, because I'm me, it's turning out to be more then that, so here's the first chapter. Hope you like it!**

**Chapter One**

Castiel wiped his forehead, feeling beads of sweat forming there. It was starting, he could feel it inside him. Just how the others angels warned him it would. He glanced at Dean, who was sitting with Sam across from him at the booth in the diner. A sick feeling rose in the pit of his stomach like acid, and his body began heating up, sweat stains quickly forming under his armpits and around his neck. Dean just let out a chuckle at something Sam had said about a monster, and turned to Castiel to ask him a question.

He frowned at Castiel's appearance. "You okay, man? What's wrong?"

Castiel shook his head slightly. He should tell them, he needed to..he actually opened his mouth to explain, but found no words to let out. Dean's green eyes were worried as they searched his face, and Castiel felt his heart leap in his throat at the concern Dean was showing for him.

His hunter. The one he raised from Perdition. And he couldn't tell Dean what was happening to him, he would deal with it, control it, because he would not be rejected by the hunter.

"I have to go." Castiel stood, trying to avoid Dean's eyes because it made it worse when their gazes met.

Sam decided to tuned in now as well. "What's going on?"

Castiel hurried to make an excuse. "I am needed elsewhere...I'll be back when I can." The angel disappeared with a swish, leaving the Winchesters confused. They shrugged it off as more angel weirdness and soon forgot about the incident as their food arrived.

**All will be revealed, cross my heart hope to die, just a chappie to give an eensey bit of background info.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Don't own Supernatural.**

**Chapter 2**

The dark pressed against Dean's eyes as he opened them, and he quickly flipped on the light next to his motel room bed. He had felt something that had awoken him, something strange, and he knew by now to trust his instincts. He glanced over to Sam's bed and saw that it was empty, but a quickly scrawled note was lying on top of the rumpled sheets. Dean jumped out of his own bed and grabbed it up, scanning quickly.

"Dean, just ran out quick. I couldn't sleep, not feeling well. Probably that food we had for dinner. Be back soon."

Dean's shoulders relaxed a bit; yeah, that food did taste funny, although he wasn't feeling sick himself. What the hell was it that woke him up, though? His eyes quickly darted around the room, resting on a shadowy spot near the curtain, which was rippling slightly. His gun was waiting on the bedside table and he scooped it up before walking slowly to the curtain, weapon cocked and at the ready.

The blood pumped through his veins and all his senses were alert and on the lookout as he drew closer to the curtain. He quickly pulled it aside with one hand and stepped back, ready to shoot, but there was nothing there. The window was slightly open, a breeze causing the curtain to move, and he remembered that he had opened it before slipping into bed. A sigh of relief escaped him as he reached out and slammed the window shut, locking it. Dean turned to go back to bed now that he had made sure there was no threat in the room, and almost bumped into another person.

"Holy shit!" he screamed, jumping backwards so that he crashed into a chair and fell to the ground. Dean scrambled up quickly, ready to shoot, but he caught a glimpse of brown fabric and he sighed in relief again. It was only Castiel. Dean hadn't seen him in a few days since they met up at the diner and he was getting worried, but apparently there was no need for concern, because here he was. "Cass. How many times have I told you not to do that? At least call before you come."

The angel didn't reply, he simply walked forward until he was standing right in front of Dean. The hunter frowned. "Didn't we have this talk, too? Personal space? This jogging anything in your angel memory?"

Castiel made a strange sound deep in his throat, and Dean looked up into his eyes for the first time. His pupils were blown wide, hardly any blue left in them, and he was flushed and sweating.

"Hey, man, what's wrong with you?" Dean tried to slip past the angel, but he gripped the hunter by the shoulder, squeezing tightly. "Cass, let go!"

Dean tried to push the angel away, but Castiel growled again, and pushed Dean hard so that he was pressed against the wall.

"What the hell are you doing?" Dean said, a bit of panic in his voice now.

No answer, simply that animalistic growl. Somehow Castiel managed to slid Dean down so they were both on the floor, where Castiel sat on top of him, straddling his midriff. Dean struggled under his weight, which seemed impossibly heavy for Castiel's fit vessel. Castiel had Dean's arms pinned down now, and although Dean was tough, he was no match for Castiel's angel strength.

"This isn't funny! Tell me what's wrong, Sam and I can help." Dean cried, feeling unnaturally scared at the moment. His eyes were drawn to his gun, feet away on the floor that he had dropped when Castiel had grabbed him. He knew bullets would have no effect on the angel, but it could cause a diversion at least. He didn't know what was going on with Cass, but there was defiantly something out of whack.

"Come on," Dean tried to reason with Castiel again, but he was quickly silenced by the Cass' lips. The angel pressed hard against him, so hard that he felt his lips being smashed into his teeth. Castiel bit Dean's lip, drawing blood and licked it as it dribbled down the hunter's chin. This was followed by hard nips on Dean's neck, which stung horribly afterward when Castiel released his teeth from Dean's skin.

Dean let out a scream, even though he was supposed to be some bad-ass macho hunter, because he was terrified out of his wits by what was happening. Castiel gave an extra-hard bite right below Dean's jaw-line before moving to kiss his lips again and swallow Dean's words. Castiel pushed his tongue threw Dean's lips, almost choking him with it as it stretched toward his throat.

Terrified green eyes met crazed blue ones, and for a split second, Dean could swear that Cass' eyes returned to normal, seeming just as confused and scared as he was, and even his grip seemed to loosen, before Cass looked away and pressed his mouth harder over the hunters' almost suffocating him. Castiel suddenly sat up, panting lightly and sweat running down his face in little rivets. A small moan escaped his lips, and Dean was quiet, surveying Cass' face and trying to figure out what the hell was going on as a different expression emerged. It was wild, like the face of a member of a tribe that lived deep in a jungle somewhere, and it scared the shit out him.

"Whatever you are, I'm going to kill you, you son of a bitch. I don't know what you did to Cass, but I will hunt you down and you will regret it."

Cass snarled at him, apparently having lost the ability to use the human language and reverting to animal noises, but then stopped and looked around, his head tilted as he watched the door. The lock clicked and the door swung open quietly on its hinges and Sam entered, closing the door behind him.

An expression of shock blanketed Sam's face as he caught sight on Dean and Castiel, but the angel soon took care of that. He released one of Dean's arms and waved a hand, causing Sam to fly into the wall and crash to the floor in a heap, unconscious. Realizing his arm was free, Dean swung it upward, catching Casitel square in the jaw, hard enough to knock a normal human out cold, but Castiel was not human. He bristled at the defensive action and snarled in Dean's face, spraying little droplets of saliva over Dean's cheeks.

"Shit." Dean cursed quietly, his heart pounding so hard it was fit to burst. He readied his fist for another punch, but before he could another good solid hit on Castiel, the angel snapped his fingers and suddenly they were both ass-naked, skin rubbing against each other. Another snap before Dean could adjust to this new situation and he found himself on his stomach on his bed, his hands pulled forward where they were tied tightly to the bedposts.

Dean struggled against the bindings, kicking out blindly behind him; at least his legs were free. A sudden dip on the bed mad him realize Castiel had just joined him, and he turned his head quickly, not wanting to lose the angel out of sight. Huge wings were slowly unfurling themselves from Castiel's back, soft white feathers that glowed with a bluish tinge. The wings brushed Dean's bare skin as Castiel moved, and they felt pleasantly warm and comforting compared, like a mother's touch reassuring him.

Dean squirmed as Castiel leaned closer to his face and Dean winced, expecting another bite or too-hard kiss, but Castiel's kissed his cheek gently, and his eyes returned to normal for a moment as he managed to choke out, "Sorry" before it turned into a growl and his pupils grew wide again. Castiel slid over Dean's back, his sweat coating the hunter, and gripped him tight above the waist, hoisting him up so that he was kneeling on the bed in an uncomfortable position, with his arms pulled out straight to the posts and his head down, like he was bowing to a god. The wing tips brushed him gently again and he got that sense of reassurance again.

He felt Castiel's heat as the angel bent over him, still gripping him tight around the waist, and pushed his length against Dean's entrance, entering him quickly. Dean screamed as the burning sensation got worse as his body rejected Castiel, trying to push him back out, but that wasn't going to happen. Castiel grunted and pushed harder, Dean's entrance closing tight around Castiel's length, but Castiel gave one last forceful push, widening Dean and entering him completely, filling him up.

Tears of pain ran from Dean's eyes and were absorbed by the sheet as he moaned in agony at the forceful entry. This didn't feel right, it felt strange to have Castiel inside him and he didn't like it, and he liked it even less as Castiel started moved inside him, giving rough, fast thrusts, in and out in and out.

Dean felt his whole body moving with the force of Castiel's thrusts, and the angel grunted each time, his hands still clenched tightly around Dean's waist. Dean actually felt his legs lift off the bed at one point as Castiel thrusted into him a few last times, and cried out when Castiel howled and released himself into the hunter.

Dean felt weird, like his insides were burning and he could literally feel Castiel's come seeping through him. Everything suddenly seemed out of focus and blurry, his whole body ached and he could feel, God Damn he say it, tears falling freely freely from his eyes as he cried in earnest now. He barely felt it when Castiel pulled out of Dean, barely noticed how Castiel fell to the floor, dazed and exhausted. The trembling angel got to his feet, the blue slowly taking over the black in his eyes, and a horrified expression painted his face as he surveyed the wrecked hunter on the bed.

"No." Castiel hurried over, stumbling as he reached down and touched the bindings on Dean's wrists so they disappeared. He flipped Dean over and cupped the hunter's face gently in his hands. Dean's eyes were hazy, losing focus quickly before they closed completely.

"Dean, I'm sorry." Castiel stood, backing away, suddenly the urge to leave was overwhelming. He couldn't stay and look at the damage he had caused. An explanation was owed to Dean, but later, when they were both back to normal. Castiel snapped his fingers, and he was fully dressed again and so was Dean. He heard Sam groan behind him, starting to stir on the floor and quickly made his exit, disappearing into thin air.

**Reviews? **

**Never wrote a sex scene before so I was like EEEK about posting this but whatevs. Please tell me if you like it, already have some more written! Thanks!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Don't own Supernatural.**

**Thanks for reviews: Yusuke-love**

Sam groaned, opening his eyes before sitting up. He leaned against the wall behind him and rubbed his head, trying to remember what the hell had happened. His eyes scanned the room, quickly focusing on Dean lying unconscious on the bed. The image of Castiel waving a hand and knocking him into the wall flashed into his mind, and then another of the angel on top of Dean. Sam stood quickly, running to his brother and examining him closely.

Dean's face was messed up; bruises covered the area around his lips, and there was dried blood running down his chin, presumably from the cut on his lip. Small marks that looked like vicious hickies were on one side of his neck, a particularly nasty one right below his jaw. Red, bruised rings encircled his wrists. Sam wondered exactly what Castiel had done.

"Dean." Sam touched his brother's arm gently. "Dean, wake up." Dean didn't budge, and Sam quickly checked his pulse to make sure he was still breathing. After a few more attempts to wake the unconscious hunter, Sam gave up and decided to let Dean rest. There would be time when he woke up to get the details.

Sam grabbed a gun from his bag before sitting next to Dean in the bed, determined to stay next to him for the rest of the night in case Castiel showed up again. He didn't know what happened, but he knew Castiel was involved. Whether something was controlling the angel, or had taken over his body, Sam didn't know but he knew that those eyes that had pierced him did not belong to their angel comrade.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned Sam and Dean and Cass, but I don't! *wails in misery***

**Thanks for reviews, favorites and follows!**

**Chapter 4**

Dean woke slowly, opening his eyes and trying to remember why his body hurt so god damn much. Every inch felt like it had been pummeled, especially his ass. A face flew into his mind, blue eyes...mussed hair- and he bolted out of bed, falling off the edge onto the floor. He struggled to his feet, trying to run, anywhere but where he was now, but he felt someone's arm close tightly around his own.

"No!" Dean screamed, trying to rip away, panic overwhelming him. "No, stop, please!"

"Dean, it's me!" Sam grabbed Dean's other arm and spun him around so they were facing each other. "Calm down."

"Sam?" Dean asked, and Sam nodded slowly, frowning at his brother's terrified expression.

"Tell me what happened last night. I came back, I saw you and Cass-"

Dean gave a gasp at the name and tears began rushing down his face.

"Dean, what the hell man?" Sam said, stunned, as his brother clung closer to him, pressing his face into Sam's chest. Something was horribly wrong..Dean was..broken. "Come on...you never act like this."

Sam tentatively ran an arm across Dean's back, embracing him tightly, but still ready to let go if Dean decided he had enough of this chick flick moment.

"Shit, Dean." Sam mumbled as Dean cried harder. "You should lay down..come here." he pulled Dean back to his bed, but he stiffened at the sight of it.

"No, no, not there." he choked out. "No."

"Okay..I guess we could do mine." Sam laid Dean down on the opposite bed and Dean grabbed at him, pulling him down. "Don't leave, Sammy, don't leave, please, stay with me." Dean begged.

"Alright." Sam sat beside Dean, genuinely puzzled now as Dean pressed against him and held tightly onto his arm.

"Stay with me, Sammy."

"Yeah, I'm right here." Sam said, staring at his brother as he cried into the sheet. Dean didn't allow Sam to move from his side, but eventually the tears stopped and his breathing slowed as he fell asleep again, reassured by Sam's presence at his side.

Sam wondered if he would ever get the scoop on what had happened the night before when he heard a soft swish and turned his head to see an ashamed-looking Castiel standing there. Sam bristled immediately, but didn't leave Dean's side.

"What did you do to him?" Sam whispered angrily, not wishing to disturb Dean."Why were you here last night, and why did you knock me unconscious?"

Castiel shifted uncomfortably, sensing Sam was furious with him, and as well he should be. He felt his legs turning to jelly under Sam's murderous stare, and sat on Dean's bed before they gave out completely. "I...it's very complicated, Sam. I hope you can just listen and let me explain, but I don't know if your brother will be able to forgive me."

"What did you do to him?" Sam repeated, and Castiel knew that was his cue to start the speech he had been practicing since he left the motel hours ago.

"I wasn't myself, Sam. You need to understand that. Angels go through a heat cycle. None of us can avoid it, the pull is very strong. It takes over completely, you are not yourself. We are reduced to something animalistic and crude during this time. We cannot control our actions, no matter how much we wish to."

Sam, listening intently to Castiel' words, suddenly looked down at Dean with realization. "Cass..you and Dean...did you..?"

Castiel nodded solemnly, answering Sam's unfinished question.

"Holy shit.." Sam ran a hand through his hair, still in shock. "But why is he like this? What did you do to him?" Sam gestured to Dean's bruised face. "He wasn't right when he woke up before, he was terrified at the sound of your name."

Castiel looked like a child whose favorite toy had been taken away, his eyes troubled. "Sam, I didn't want to, but he was fighting me, I couldn't stop...so I ...I bound him."

Sam shot a nasty glare at the angel, who didn't see it because his face was in his hands. "You raped my brother?"

Castiel nodded into his hands, unable to look up.

"You son of a bitch." Sam got to his feet, towering above Castiel, and positively emanating fury. "You think you can come back here and beg for an apology?"

Castiel looked up at Sam, knowing that the younger Winchester could not hurt him, but wishing that he could at that moment. "Sam...I told you, I couldn't control myself-"

"But why Dean? Why not some angel, one of your own kind?"

"Because you are drawn to a mate, someone you have...that you have feelings for." Castiel said quietly, so quietly that Sam could barely hear him.

"What?" Sam spat. "You raped my brother because you have feelings for him? Is that what you're saying?"

"Please, Sam, I don't know how else to explain." Castiel gripped the edges of the bed, praying that Sam would understand. " Dean and I share a bond, ever since I raised him from Hell, but that is not the thing that binds us together. My love for him, it strengthens that bond, even if he doesn't know how I feel. I was drawn to him in my time of need."

"Why didn't you just explain all this before?"

"I was afraid. This was my first heat, and I didn't realize how strong it would be. I thought I could just ignore it, but that was not the case. I didn't want Dean to know. I tried to stop when I was with him, but that animal instinct took over..I was not me."

Sam grabbed him by the collar and hauled him up. His face was inches from the angel's as he hissed menacingly. "There were ways around this, you should have come to us for help. Now Dean's messed up, I don't know what the hell is wrong with him and it's your fault. So get out." Sam released Castiel, pushing him toward the door.

"Sam, please don't do this." The angel glanced at Dean on the bed, tears shining in his eyes. "I just want to explain to Dean."

"I'll tell him everything he needs to know." Sam crossed his arms and stared pointedly at the door. Castiel's shoulders drooped and he broke, tears streaming down his face, before he disappeared with a swish of his coat.

Dean stirred in the bed and Sam turned, sitting besides him.

"Dean?" he said, voice gentle now that Castiel was gone. "You alright?"

"Sam," Dean croaked hoarsely, sitting up slowly and looking at his brother.

"I know what happened and I swear on my life that it will never happen again," Sam whispered fiercely. "Cass is gone." He skipped the explanation of why Cass had done such a thing; they were ways around it, and Cass was thinking too much about himself and ignoring the danger that Dean was in. Although a tiny part of Sam felt guilty about yelling at Castiel; the angel had looked destroyed. Maybe they should give him another chance...no. Sam pulled away from his thoughts to focus on his brother.

"I don't..can't talk about this." Dean mumbled, getting t o his feet.

Sam stood, a hand ready incase Dean needed somebody to steady him. "Where are you going?"

"I need to leave here. Let's go on a hunt, drive somewhere else."

Sam frowned. "Are you sure? You don't want to take it easy for a bit? Before..you were a mess Dean."

Dean gave a grin that was way too much like a grimace for Sam's liking. "I'm fine, Sammy. I'm totally fine." he bent and hoisted his duffel bag over his shoulder. "Let's just go."

Sam stared after Dean, completely nonplussed by his attitude. Dean always tried to forget, to push everything deep inside until it swelled so much that it blew up and destroyed him. Well, that wasn't going to happen again.

Sam grabbed his stuff and followed Dean out. Only when they were sitting in the Impala did Sam clear his throat and look over.

"Dean, I know you're not okay. What happened..it was sick. you can't just forget about it. Your best friend just-"

Sam stopped, the words practically dried up in his mouth under the glare Dean was shooting him. It was more then the classic Dean glare, it was scarier and his eyes were burning, although not with rage but with fear.

"Don't." he said, a note of menace in his voice. "Never speak about it again." He turned the keys in the ignition and the car roared to life. Sam swallowed and looked out the window, scared for his brother and what this incident might have done to him inside.


	5. Chapter 5

**I don't own Supernatural.**

**Thank you for reviews and follows and favorites!**

**Chapter 5**

Castiel stood next to Sam and Dean at their table in the diner. They couldn't see him; his vessel was invisible to the human eyes right now. He had come to explain; there were things Dean needed to know about what happened, and what the effects of that night would be, things that were important.

Cas studied Dean's face closely; there was something different about him. He was twitchy, unable to concentrate on his food. Someone walked behind his chair brushing his shoulder accidentally as they passed, and Dean nearly jumped out of his chair.

Sam frowned, watching Dean with worried eyes as his brother breathed a sigh of relief and turned back to his hardly touched plate. He pushed the plate away and looked up at Sam. "You want to get going? There's still that vamp to gank in the next town."

"Dean, it's really late and we've been driving forever." Sam said, taking another bite of his dinner. "We need to sleep."

"I'm fine. You can sleep in the car and I'll drive."

"No." Sam said firmly and Dean looked surprised.

"What?"

"No. You need to sleep. I don't need you crashing the car and killing both of us."

"Sam-"

Sam reached out and grabbed the Impala's keys on the table in front of Dean, stuffing them into his pocket. "We're gonna stop and you're going to sleep. I know you haven't slept for a few days, since-" Sam stopped as Dean's facial expression changed from annoyed to fearful. Sam cleared his throat, continuing. "Anyway, you need sleep."

Sam was surprised when Dean didn't argue further. He just gave up, gave in..and that terrifed Sam.

Castiel reached out an invisible arm toward Dean. What he was planning to do he wasn't sure, but he wanted to offer comfort to the distraught hunter. His hand stopped inches from Dean's shoulder; he couldn't do this in a crowded place. Dean needed to be alone with him so he could explain without interference. They needed to talk, Dean needed to learn what was soon going to happen. He withdrew his hand regretfully, stuffing it into a pocket and then he was gone.

**888888**

Sam drove to the motel nearest the diner. He pulled into the lot, glancing quickly at Dean, who had his eyes closed and head resting against the seat.

"Come on, we're here." Sam said, nudging Dean's shoulder. Sam got out, waiting for Dean to follow him.

"Throw me the keys," Dean said, getting out and going around to the trunk. Sam did so, thinking his brother wanted to get fresh clothes or something, but instead Dean pulled out his weapons bag. Sam raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything. Dean slammed the trunk closed and threw the keys back to Sam.

"Get the room, I'll wait outside." Dean said, heading for the entrance and leaning against the wall. Sam did as he was asked and came out with the room key after paying for the night.

Sam knew that Dean was uneasy; this was the first night they spent in a motel since Dean got raped. The past three nights they had spent in the Impala due to the absence of motels. Dean had not slept much then, if at all; when Sam fell asleep, he was sitting upright, staring warily out the window, and when Sam woke in the morning, he was in the same exact position.

"I'm going to take a shower-" Sam started, but Dean cut him off. He pointed to the shabby looking TV set.

"There's a game on. Do you want to watch that first?"

"Not really. I'm tired and I just want to sleep." Sam said, watching Dean as he sat on a chair next to one of the twin beds. Dean shrugged, cocked one of his guns he had taken from his bag and rested it on the arm of the chair as he picked up the TV remote. For some reason that he couldn't explain, he wanted Sam to stay with him. The terror wasn't as bad with Sam by his side, but Dean thought it would be childish to ask his brother to sit with him. Instead he brushed it off, even though he wanted to grab Sam's arm to prevent him from leaving.

"Fine." Dean's grip on the gun became so tight that Sam could see his knuckles turning white. He turned the TV on, and began flipping channels.

Sam turned toward the bathroom, completely nonplussed by his brother. Of all the evil demons and creatures they had faced, every mess and horrible situation they had been in, and this was the thing that had finally broken Dean. Sam didn't know why and he doubted if he ever would. Before entering the bathroom, he called to Dean, "If you need anything, just call me."

Dean sat in his chair, listening to the water hit the shower tiles as Sam turned it on. His eyes darted around the room, gun's trigger under his finger. What happened to him haunted him every moment. He couldn't sleep, couldn't eat and couldn't talk about it. Sam had tried a few times, but Dean wouldn't allow the conversation to go further. He knew Sam was worried about him. Hell, he was worried about himself.

"I guess this is it." Dean said aloud, talking to the empty room. "I'm done. This time I can't be fixed."

Castiel suddenly appeared, although still invisible to Dean's eyes. He sat on the edge of the bed next to Dean's chair. The hunter was uptight and rigid as a board, his finger on the trigger of his gun as he constantly scanned the room. Cas felt his heart drop; he had done this.

Dean's face looked haunted and haggard, deep circles under his eyes. Cas clenched his hands, digging his nails so deep into his palms that little cresent shaped marks appeared, welling with blood.

Dean eyes wandered to the TV, but were not focusing on the screen. Castiel could see that he was exhausted beyond belief, but fear, fear of Cas was keeping him awake.

Castiel wanted to help, but he didn't want to scare Dean. If he just appeared out of thin air, the hunter would have a heart attack. Plus, if Dean started screaming, Sam would hear and come to help. No, he needed to wait until he and Dean were alone, had to come to Dean in a non-threatening manner. He would wait for the perfect oppurtunity, but in the meantime...Castiel stood, reaching two fingers out and gently touching Dean's forehead. The hunter's head sagged immediatedly, his hand growng limp on the gun.

Cas pulled the weapon away, setting it on the bedside table. He slid his arms under Dean's body, picking him up from the chair and laying him down on the bed. Dean's face was relaxed now as he slept, and Castiel felt a little bit better. He bent down, hesitating, but brought his lips to the hunter's forehead after a second, kissing him gently there.

"I am sorry for what I have done Dean. I will explain everything to you when I have the chance." he laid a hand on Dean's stomach, wondering how the hunter would take the news that there would soon be another life growing inside him. Cas was surprised that Sam did not pick up on what might happen after the angel talked to him the night of the ..incident; what did he think was the purpose of a heat cycle? Cas shook his head wearily. Well the brothers would soon find out, whether they liked it or not.

Cas pulled the blankets up over Dean and snapped his fingers so the TV shut off. "I will be back." He whispered, touching Dean's cheek gently, and then he was gone.


	6. Chapter 6

**I don't own Supernatural.**

**Thanks for reviews:watergoddesskasey, SnarryMoreidLover, and guest.**

**Chapter 6**

A few days later, a perfect opportunity arose for Castiel to talk to Dean. He had been following the brothers, watching over them. Dean did not seem to be getting better. He wasn't sleeping and he wasn't eating. Castiel was very worried for his mate..not that Dean knew that that is what he had become to Castiel. They had a bond now, a stronger one then before. Cas could sense Dean's emotions, and was strongly drawn to him in a protective way. He could not stand seeing Dean like this and knowing he had caused it.

Now Cas was keeping an eye on the brothers again. Sam had found another job in a paper and was telling Dean about it.

"So I'm gonna go gank the thing. Shouldn't take too long, seems like a simple salt and burn-" Sam was saying but Dean interrupted, holding a hand up to indicate that Sam stop speaking.

"What do you mean, you're gonna go? I'm coming."

"No. You're not." Sam said firmly. "You're exhausted. You need to sleep. This is an easy hunt; I can do it by myself."

"Sam-"

"Dean, don't argure with me." Sam said wearily. "I know what happened that night changed something inside you, but you can't let it control your life. Besides, it's over. Cas won't hurt you again."

Dean turned away from his brother. He was at a loss for words, but if he could think of any, they probably wouldn't have come out anyway.

Sam clapped Dean on the back in a supportive gesture. "Listen, it'll be okay." he said softly."Get some sleep. Nothing will happen. When I get back we can hit the road again, alright?" he squeezed Dean's shoulder before letting go. Picking up the duffel bag at his feet, Sam grabbed the car keys and then with one last look at his brother, left the room.

Dean fell defeatedly on the bed, face down. Cas, invisible, walked up to the bed. This was good; Sam would be gone for a while and they could talk. He made to sit on the bed, and then hesitated. It would startle Dean if he just appeared out of thin air like he usually did. He glanced at the motel door; he would knock on it, like humans did and Dean would open it and let him in.

A split second later he was on the other side, staring at the gold number on the door. He focused for a moment and made himself visible to human eyes, then brought his knuckles to the door and knocked three times.

After a minute, Dean opened it, grumbling, "Seriously Sam, you forgot something?" He looked up at the figure standing there and saw it was not Sam but Castiel.

His eyes grew wide in fear and he tried to slam the door back shut, but Castiel moved quickly, placing his foot on the threshold. The pain in Dean's eyes seemed contagious; Castiel's heart was aching with it for what he did to his friend.

"Dean, I need to talk to you. Please." Castiel said softly. The hunter backed up warily, his eyes remaining on the angel the whole time. For a moment his eyes shifted to his duffel bag at the end of his bed, which contained all his weapons. Castiel saw this, and with a twitch of his fingers, he made it disappear.

"I don't want to talk to you," Dean choked out, his voice full of fear as he backed away from the angel. Now his weapons were gone as well; he had no defense.

"I need to explain." Castiel gave Dean a wide berth so as not to frighten him more as he sat on the edge of Sam's bed. Dean reminded him of a scared mouse being chased by a large cat, the way he was flinching every time Castiel talked or moved.

"Sit down." he said gently, gestured to the bed opposite him. Dean glanced at the door, and Castiel could see his muscles tensing, as if he was going to make a break for it.

"Dean, I will just find you again. You can't run away." Castiel stated, unaware of how menacing that sounded to the hunter.

"You can tell me from right here, then." Dean said, trying to keep his voice steady. He would not show his fear to the angel. Although right now Castiel didn't seem as terrifying as he had that night. There was something...Dean could almost sense his feelings..like guilt and worry and sympathy...wait, since when could he tell what anybody was feeling? He wasn't even good at telling his own emotions.

"I did not want to hurt you, Dean. It is difficult to explain, but I will do my best." Castiel took a deep breath and ran a hand through hs hair. "I underwent something that all angels go through...a heat cycle."

Dean raised his eyes, surprised as Castiel kept talking, looking down at his hands.

"It cannot be prevented. I was not myself."

Dean remembered vividly the way Castiel's eyes had looked, how he had growled in response to Dean's questions.

"The angel's body takes over the mind, reducing the subject to something crude, acting on instincts."

Dean could hear the intense guilt in the angel's voice as he tried to explain himself, and he felt his fear slowly ebbing away. He came closer, sitting on the bed across from Cas, but still ready to move if he needed to.

"Why me?" Dean asked quietly. "Why not another angel?"

"Because," Castiel paused. This was so much harder to tell Dean then it had been to say to Sam. "Angels are drawn to their mates, someone they have feelings for. Someone they love."

Castiel kept his eyes averted from Dean's face as he said this. It took a minute for Cas' statement to sink it, for Dean to understand what it actually meant.

The long silence in the room bacame strained, and they both shifted awkwardly, avoiding each other's gaze.

Dean cleared his throat. All his fear was gone now for some reason he couldn't explain; he did not feel threatened by the morose angel sitting in front of him anymore. Instead he felt...pity. "Why didn't you tell us this before?"

"I was unable to."

Dean was quiet, thinking. "Is that what happened in the diner that day? Was that the start of it?"

Castiel nodded slowly. He was glad that Dean seemed to be okay with the explanation. He felt that Dean wasn't afraid anymore. Instead he sensed a curiousity ebbing through Dean's body.

"I understand if you cannot forgive me, Dean. But I needed to explain to you, to put my own mind at ease. I was ignorant to think that I could control myself. I should have known better."

Dean regarded the angel; it was true he wasn't afraid anymore, but he didn't know if he could forgive the angel just yet.

"I told Sam everything, as well, but he was quite angry with me, as he should be." Castiel sighed when Dean didn't respond. He felt a little better now that Dean knew the truth, but their friendship had been ruinned by Castiel's stupidity. He didn't know if he could even forgive himself.

"You told Sam?" Dean frowned. "He didn't say anything about talking to you."

"After it happened, I came and explained. He kicked me out. I wanted to explain to you myself, so I was waitinng for the perfect time."

"Sam knew all along th truth?" Dean mused. That son of a bitch. "He could have told me."

Castiel peered at Dean across from him. Dean still hadn't been told the most important thing yet. He wanted the hunter to understand why this had happened becfore he was told the effects of it. Castiel stood slowly, taking a few steps closer to Dean. The hunter didn't react as he had before; he merely seemed puzzled as Castiel sat next to him.

"I apologize, Dean." Castiel bowed his head again, trying to steady his rapidly beating heart as he chose his next words carefully. "There is something else you need to know."

Dean sensed the angel's emotions, something he was quickly growing accustomed to. The nervousness that was clouding his being was intense and without thinking, Dean reached out a hand and enveloped Castiel's hand inside of it. The angel looked up, shocked as Dean squeezed tighter. Dean himself was surprised, but it didn't bother him that he was not only holding hands with someone, but the someone that had raped him.

"Don't be afraid."

Castiel stared in awe at Dean as he actually cracked a sincere smile, something that hadn't been seen since the incident.

"I forgive you, Cas." Dean found himself saying, trying to make the angel feel better, but he knew that it was true. He had known he was going to forgive the angel from the moment they sat was something..a weird connection that he hadn't felt there before between them. He had forgiven Sam plenty of times for terrible things that he had done. Castiel's mistake had only affected him, as opposed to starting the Apocalypse, which affected the world. Castiel was like a brother to him; they couldn't hold grudges. They needed to have each other's backs.

Castiel's face spilt into the widest grin Dean had ever seen the angel wear. Dean felt all the guilt and tension leave the angel's body immediatedly. "Thank you."

Dean smiled back. "Now what else did you need to tell me?"

Cas' smile was gone now, replaced by his usual stony features as he explained further. "You can sense my emotions, right? You have felt them?"

"Yeah," Dean said slowly, wondering where this was going. Cas , without being fully aware of what he was doing, scooted closer to Dean so that their legs were pressed up next to each other. Dean could feel Castiel' s warmth and was relaxed by it. He squeezed Castiel's hand to encourage the angel to continue.

"That is because we are bonded now." Cas said, shifting a little. " We have been bonded since I raised you from Hell, but in a different way. We can currently sense each other's emotions , and sometimes feel where the other is."

"But why?" Dean pressed, wanting the angel to get to the frigging point.

"Because we are mates now."

"Mates." Dean repeated slowly, trying to grasp the intensity of the situation.

Castiel looked up, his blue eyes piercing Dean's. "There is a reason angels have heat cycles, the same reason that humans and animals on earth do." He wanted Dean to understand without actually saying it. Dean frowned, his eyes searching Castiel's face as he struggled to comprehend. "Do you know the reason, Dean?"

Of course he knew the answer, he wasn't some kid who hadn't heard the birds and bees speech yet. But his question was..how?

"To reproduce." Dean answered the angel's inquiry, his mind whirring at a million miles per hour.

"Yes. During our heat cycles it is our job to reproduce." Castiel reached out, touching Dean's face hunter looked surprised as Cas cupped his chin tenderly. The angel regarded him for a moment, Dean's eyes still showing signs of confusion. Cas moved their entwined hands to rest gently on Dean's stomach.

"You are with child, Dean."

Dean stared at Castiel, expecting him to crack a smile, jump up and laugh, "Just kidding! You should have seen the look on your face!" But nothing of the sort happened. The solemn expression on Castiel's face remained unchanging.

Dean grinned. "No. C'mon, Cas. That's not possible. I think you're a little confused about how everything works. You see, I'm a guy-"

"I am very aware of what sex you are, Dean. I assure you it doesn't matter. When I released myself into you, your insides burned, didn't they?"

Without waiting for a response, Castiel continued. "That is because your insides are changing to accomodate a growing child."

Dean was speechless. No, it couldn't be possible.

"It is possible." Cas said, touching Dean's face again. "i know how you must feel. You are scared and confused. But I will be with you. I will watch over you and protect you until the baby is born, and after that, if you will allow me to."

"Cas..I can't." Dean mumbled quietly, and Cas brushed a thumb across Dean's cheek. "What?"

"I can't have a kid. How is that gonna work? I'm a loner. Sam and I are always on the road, you know that. This can't happen. It would be no life for a baby."

Cas wrapped an arm around Dean, pressing the hunter to him. Dean stiffened for a moment, and then allowed himself to relax in Cas' embrace.

"I am sorry, Dean. But even if we had discussed this, it would have happened anyway. I would have found some way to get to you. I wish it was different, but you are the only one I care about."

"Cas." Dean gripped onto the angel tightly, feeling the situation overwhelming him. The burning in his throat and eyes rose to such a degree he couldn't contain it anymore, and hot tears began spilling from his eyes. Cas held him while the wet patches on his coat grew wider from the tears. "Cas," Dean gasped again, pressing his face into the crook of the angel's neck.

"It's okay, Dean. I'm here."

"How could you do this to me?" Dean suddenly ripped away from Cas, anger burning through the tears in his eyes.

Cas shook his head, not knowing how to reply. Dean's shoulders trembled as he cried silently, salty streams running down his face. The guilt that Cas had felt before was back now, encircling his heart like a dark, painful cloud. Dean turned away from the angel, standing up.

"If you cared about me so much, how could you let this happen?" Dean choked out, his voice thick with tears.

"It happened because I care." Castiel touched Dean's shoulder and he turned around to face Castiel. Before he knew it, Dean was encircled by those protective arms again, and he felt safe. Castiel cupped Dean's chin, tipping it up and their gazes met right before Castiel pressed his lips to Dean's. Dean didn't fight it. It was so different to Castiel's painful rough kisses that night. It was...pleasant and comforting.

"I am here, Dean. I will help you and be by your side." Castiel reminded the hunter softly."This is my fault and I need to help. But I cannot if you don't allow me to stay. I am nervous, too. This is my first time being a father as well."

"I need to just..not think about this for a while." Dean said, pulling out of the angel's grasp again and sitting on the bed. Castiel watched him as he grabbed the remote on the bedside table and fliked on the TV, flipping through channels. Even though Castiel's protective instincts were kicking in, telling him to stay by Dean's side, he knew the hunter needed to be alone and think without interuption. He stepped away from the bed, giving Dean some space and started to the door.

"Wait." Castiel turned to find Dean looking at him, the expression on his face reminding Cas strongly of a lost puppy. "I didn't..I didn't mean for you to leave." he said quietly."Stay."

Castiel tilted his head, watching Dean curiously. Could Dean be starting to feel the same as he did? Or was it just their bond?

"Stay with me, Cas." Dean repeated, almost pleadingly. Instead of sitting back on Sam's bed, Castiel came over and plopped down next to Dean. He sensed that the hunter needed closeness right now.

"I'm sorry." Castiel apologized again, leaning back against the headboard. To his surprise, Dean leaned against him, his head resting on the angel's shoulder. Castiel put a hesitant arm around him, and he snuggled closer to the angel.

Dean was quiet, flipping through the channels until he found something to watch. Without realizing it, Cas began to stroke Dean's hair, which Dean found extremely soothing. Yeah, this was weird. Usually it was him holding the girl, him comforting people, but now that the positions were reversed, it was weird. But not bad...it was not bad at all. It felt like it should have happened a long time ago, like he belonged in Cas' arms.

"Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?"

Dean turned to look at him. "If this had to happen to me, I'm glad it was you."

Cas was genuinely touched by this statement, but he didn't need to say anything. Dean already felt it. He reached out for Cas' hand, entwining their fingers together and pulling their hands toward his stomach again, resting them there.

"Maybe..maybe it isn't as bad as we think it is." Dean said, his eyes on the TV. "Mabe its the best thing that happened to us in a long time. Bringing life into the world instead of destroying it." He turned on his side, pressing himself into Castiel. The angel did the same, sliding down and throwing the covers over them.

"I'll watch over you while you sleep." Cas whispered in Dean's ear, sensing the hunter was growing drowsy.

"You don't have to. I'm not afraid anymore." Dean smiled, closing his eyes. The weight of the incident on his shoulders had almost pushed him to the groud. Now it was gone, he felt light and free...all because of an hour spent talking with the angel he thought he never wanted to see again.

Cas snapped his fingers, and the room became instantly dark, the TV and lights flicking off. He tightened his arm around his mate protectively, his blue eyes wide in the dark. The sound of Dean's breathing was like music to his ears, the pitch changing until it became slower and lighter as Dean drifted off.

Cas kissed the top of his head lightly, eyes wandering the room for any sign of danger that might affect his mate, but it was clear for now. It wasn't usual for angels to do, but Cas did it anyway. He sent a prayer to his father, thanking him that Dean had forgiven him and that he would be allowed to stay. Dean had accepted him as his mate.

**I know some of you might be like 'WHAT!' about how Dean forgave him so quickly. But they're bonded now, and as Cas explained, they can feel each other's emotions. Dean knows how sorry he is and he finds himself feeling pity and understanding instead of fear and anger. Anyway, I hope this doesn't put anyone off the story...I like to work toward happy endings where I can!**


	7. Chapter 7

**I don't own Supernatural.**

**Thanks for reviews:Miss Hana, Destiellover101, ElkecQuin, watergoddesskasey, HaloStorm, guest, SnarryMoreidLover**

**Chapter 7 **

Sam came back to the motel a few hours later, and he did not like what he found. Dean was snuggled in Castiel's arms on the bed, fast asleep. The angel was not sleeping, but seemed to be in a relaxed, trance-like state. Sam was next to the bed in a split second, his hand on Castiel's forearm. The angel's eyes widened, alert now instead of hazy and relaxed. Sam tugged and Castiel slid sideways, almost falling off the bed.

"Sam, let go." Castiel said, trying to pry the younger Winchester's fingers off his arm.

"I told you not to come back!" Sam snarled, tugging forcefully again so that this time Castiel did fall off the bed. The angel managed to regain his balance, remaining upright. Dean sat up, blinking blearily. The noise of the struggle had awoken him.

"Sam?" Dean questioned as his brother pulled the angel away.

"Don't worry, Dean. He's out of here." Sam huffed, using all his strength to force the angel to the door. It wasn't easy; Castiel was pulling in the other direction, and he was far stonger then Sam, due to his angelic powers.

"Sam, no!" Dean jumped up, fully awake now that he realized what was happening. "Let him go."

"But Dean, he-"

"Let him go." Dean repeated, slowly and firmly. Sam did as he was told, a bewildered expression on his face as he released Castiel. Immediatedly the hunter and the angel were side by side again, Castiel holding Dean's hand tightly to make sure he remained close.

"What..?" Sam stared, unable to make the proper sounds to form words. How did this happen? When he had left, he knew Dean was still afraid of the angel and what had happened. Sam had feared what would happen to Dean's sanity if Castiel ever came back.

"Sam..I told you why I did what I did that night, remember?" Castiel said, and Sam nodded.

"Which you didn't tell me, by the way," Dean interrupted, sounding a bit angry, and Sam looked away guiltily.

"We..Dean and I..are mates now." Castiel continued, ignoring Dean's little outburst.

Sam gaped at the two, unable to help himself. Mates? What the hell were they, animals?

"Our purpose is to create offspring. It was the reason for the heat cycle, and the result is reproduction." Castiel said, glancing at Dean, who gave a shy smile.

"But..you're both guys." Sam sputtered, pointing at them and trying to wrap his mind around this whole thing. "How the hell is that supposed to work?"

Castiel took pity on the younger Winchester, who looked like he was about to pass out. His face was plastered with a confused, shocked expression. Sam placed a hand on a nearby chair to steady himself. Castiel almost didn't want to speak aloud the next part of his little speech, for fear Sam would have a heart attack.

"Dean is with child right now. It des not matter that both of our bodies are male. It is fate's will, and so it shall be." Castiel said, watching Sam's face closely for signs that he was in cardiac arrest.

Sam remained silent, reminding them vaguely of a goldfish with wide eyes and a mouth that was moving but producing no words.

"Plus he has magic angel sperm that gave me lady parts." Dean added just to clarify things for his brother. It didn't seem to help.

"This cannot be happening." Sam croaked out, finally finding his voice. "No. It's a joke, right?"

One glance at Castiel and Dean's serious faces made him realize that this was the absolute truth.

"No. Way." Sam breathed, feeling for the chair to sit down. He put his head in his hands, and Dean stepped forward worriedly.

"Sammy, you alright?" Dean placed a hand on Sam's shoulder and his brother muttered something uncomprehendable.

"What?" Dean frowned.

"Dude," Sam looked up his brother. "You're pregnant."

"Yeah. Didn't you get that whole speech Cas just gave?" Dean shook his head. Was he this bad when Cas told him? He didn't think so, and he was the one who was 'with child'.

There was suddenly a sharp knoock on the door. Cas instinctively moved in front of Dean, pushing the hunter behind him protectively.

"Hey! This is management. Your time's up. We need the room!" a gruff male voice came from the other side of the door. "You got 10 minutes."

"Let's pack up," Dean said quickly, moving toward his things next to his bed. Cas stooped to help him pick up several items of clothing that had been flung on the floor. Sam stayed in his chair, obviously still stunned.

"Sam! Come on." Dean said, throwing a shoe at his brother. "Time to go."

"Right." Sam stood up and began helping them. After a few minutes of chucking stuff into their bags, they were done. Cas took Dean's bag from him and led the way outside.

The impala was easily spottable, parked not too far from their room. Cas scanned the area, making sure there were no possible threats to his mate's life before heading toward the car. The Winchester boys followed.

When everything was secure in the trunk, Sam got into the passenger seat, waiting for Dean. But Dean wasn't paying attention as his brother jingled the car keys. Instead, Cas occupied his attention.

"Cas..you said you would stay with me."

"I will, Dean." Castiel nodded consolingly. "If you wish me to."

"I want you with me." Dean said, and reached out to take Castiel's hand. "You're my mate now."

Cas touched Dean's face tenderly, then placed each of his hands on either side of Dean's face. "I am glad that you have forgiven me, Dean. I am glad you have accepted what happened."

"It's more then that, I think." Dean swallowed hard, finding soothing comfort as Cas' hands cupped his cheeks gently. "I think I -"

"I know, Dean. I can feel it here." Cas placed a hand on Dean's chest, right where his heart would be. "I can sense what you feel, remember?"

Dean smiled, leaning closer to the angel. "Come with us."

Without waiting for an answer, Dean opened the backdoor, sliding inside and pulling Cas in with him.

Sam looked over the seat, confused again. "You're not driving?"

"No," Dean said softly. "You drive, Sammy."

"Whatever." Sam scooted across the seat so that he was behind the wheel. The car gave its normal delicious purr when Sam started her up, but Dean didn't notice any of that. He leaned agaist Cas, and the angel put an arm around him. As Sam drove, they both looked out the window, watching the scenery pass but not really taking it in. They could sense each other's contentment and happiness, and that was all they cared about.

"Dean," Cas pressed his lips to Dean's ear, whispering softly. "I love you."

Dean snaked a hand around Cas' neck pulling him down for a quick kiss. "I love you too."

Castiel's heart soared as he soaked in those words. They spun in his mind, going around in circles until they were etched into his brain.

"We're mates forever, babe." Dean laughed lightly. "I have no choice." he snuggled closer to his mate, his protector, the father of his child. His guardian angel. Yes, the future might be difficult, but that was no reason it had to be bad. Castiel had brightened everything for him...and it all started with that terrible, terrifying night.

**One review pointed out that the victim would have a hard time forgiving the person that raped them. I understand that, and I totally agree. In this, when Cas raped Dean, he was establishing a connection as well. It really was because he loved Dean. Dean feels that connection and he understands why Cas did what he did and how terrible he feels. Dean knows they're mates now, and he's starting to feel the love toward Cas that Cas already felt for him.**


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